In my Place

Te busque

2009-11-22T13:54:00.001-08:00

Te busqué debajo de las piedras y no te encontré En la mañana fria y en la noche te busqué Hasta enloquecer Pero tu llegaste a mi vida como una luz Sanando las heridas de mi corazon Y haciéndome sentir viva otra vez **

Best song ever,
well just the chorus really. Juanes<3

"Oh, I am just waiting till the shine wears off"

2009-11-18T18:50:00.001-08:00

It is funny in fact when you come to realize that the person that is supposed to understand and know you the best can be so oblivious at times, or most of the time. I don't think he is the right person, the right friend, if there is such thing.
I feel ashamed of sharing my problems with him because he seems so perfect and completely happy with everything around him that I just don't have the heart to ruin it with my 'sometimes stupid silly dilemmas.'
The worst thing though, is that I know this person feels the same... although he has never mentioned it; I am not his confident, best friend, lover or anything remotely close to that. We've talked about this, but nothing has changed. I think I held on to a fantasy, a romance that was never real. I was never really in love, it was astounding lust, lust, lust.
And now I am lost,

It was silly of me to think that writing this would help me out. I feel even worse... I really wish you could trust me. I really wish we could be friends, who knows even more than friends? damn it.

"You are standing in my way"

2009-11-15T16:26:00.000-08:00

All these strikes need to end.
I have never seen so much selfishness and laziness combined.
EVER.

"You know me - it's all or none"

2009-11-14T08:38:00.000-08:00

I am not about to change for anyone.
That is called character my friend.
I have kept my word.

Down, DOOOWN.

2009-11-13T14:57:00.000-08:00

A lot of things have been happening since I took the time to actually write on here. I do need a break from it all though; my daily routine is getting tiring and boring, and I need something new fast. Whether it be a new friend, a day with my mom, a day somewhere outside of London, a job, a day at an amusement park with my favorite people, a road trip across the USA with Thien Tan Tran, a trip to Quebec for six months...lmao, but really i just want to do something out of the ordinary. Scream at the top of my lungs somewhere really cool... and get weird looks from strangers.
I don't know...something...anything!
If you happen to have any cool, exciting, CHEAP ideas. Let me know :).

<3 Mafe

That marked the end.

2009-09-07T14:20:00.000-07:00

I wish people would tell me how they feel to my face. Talking behind people's back is great isn't it... and you say you love me. With that kind of love I rather be hated.

You might regret what you let slip away.

2009-09-05T20:03:00.000-07:00

♥ MFM

"I know you hate being ugly, but someone has to make everbody else look good."

2009-09-03T15:57:00.000-07:00

I've been watching this for like 5 hours straight! ♥
It was my favorite, along with Dexter of course :)

Nowadays, Cartoon Network is just a bunch of crap :(
I miss the good old days.

Here I am, and I stand so tall.

2009-09-02T15:46:00.000-07:00

The end of the summer is almost here... Going back to high school is a little frustrating, but I will try to get as much out of it as I can. I will be starting an internship at a law office or possibly at the London courthouse in September. I have been interested in the law field for quite sometime, and I am excited to see what it is actually like. Hopefully I will make up my mind about my plans for the future. Although I am excited, I happen to dislike the 6 am wake up calls, and the walks to catch the city bus through piles of snow. My summer is officially over.

Anyways... I had a lot of fun this past weekend; I went to Toronto with my dad, and we spent the entire day together. We went up the CN tower... and the view was amazing. The coolest thing was the glass floor. At first I was a little scared to stand on it because I am somewhat afraid of heights...and well when you stand on it you can see pieces of Toronto right below you, it feels like you are ready to step on thin air and fall. After 10 minutes or so, I got more comfortable with the whole glass thing and I wanted to take pictures... Unfortunately my camera is not the best, and the view is better during daylight, so the few shots I got are either too dark or blurry. After the glass floor we decided to go to the Sky Pod which is the highest point of the tower... My dad was freaked out, and my head felt like it was going to explode. The view was even more amazing. and the guide told us that on a clear day, Niagara Falls, and New York can be seen from the top of the tower. Awesome, eh?
The weekend didn't stop there... One of my friends who lives in Florida, came to visit. It was awesome that I got to see her again. Her visit was short, but it was still a lot of fun. We watched a couple of movies, ate a whole lot, bought $16 soda, took a long nap, celebrated her birthday, talked for hours, and forced her to take lots and lots of pictures. I miss you already Macc ♥
♥MFM

Soft breezes seem to whisper, 'I love you.'

2009-08-31T07:04:00.000-07:00

"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride, so I love you because I know no other way." - Pablo NerudaI woke up...and I felt sad, gloomy, disappointed, for no reason. Well maybe there is a reason, but I feel dumb thinking that is the reason for my sudden mood change. I cried myself to sleep thinking less of myself more and more. Self pity is something that I can't stand anymore but, I don't seem able to ever get rid off. The worse thing is that when someone tries to understand and help, I feel even worse... Ugh. Anyways I calmed down a bit after I read the excerpt that I mention on my previous blog. It really did help, but maybe I'll have to read it a thousand times before I actually believe every single word.

♥ MFM

The God Memorandum.

2009-08-28T17:05:00.000-07:00

Reading is a basic tool in the living of a good life.
~ Mortimer J. Adler ~

Thousands of questions have found their way into my mind the last couple of weeks. Answers are yet to be clear, but that is what keeps my life somewhat exciting and strange. I wanted to share The God Memorandum, an excerpt from the book "The Greatest Miracle in the World" with whoever comes across my blog, so that you too can be reminded that God is the answer, he loves you, and that you are THE GREATEST MIRACLE IN THE WORLD.

Those words have really made a difference in my life. They remind me of the special, unique, and powerful creation that I am. It made me realize that God has never forsaken me, no matter how often I thought I was alone.

God loves you more than anything, whether you realize it or not. He has a perfect plan for your life-- just let yourself be led by him.

♥ MFM

Good things don't last forever.

2009-08-26T15:06:00.000-07:00

This summer has been quite uneventful and slightly productive. I have kept myself from reaching the highest level of boredom. I've made it to the gym almost everyday, and I finished the two short seasons of one of the best shows I have ever watched, Joan of Arcadia.

I decided to write this blog about it because I think that it did not get the attention it deserved. It was released in 2003 and it ended in 2005 because the ratings dropped drastically after the second season began, and CBS was trying to reach a younger audience. This is one of those things that annoys me about life sometimes. Intellectual shows, that have meaning to them and the ability to change perspectives for the better, never last. I liked that Joan didn't always understand why she was doing something, or even see the outcome of her actions. I strongly believe that everything we do in our lives, significant or not, can affect the lives around us, and that's a strong theme in the show. I also liked that the show could bring up God without bringing up religion, and I believe that it would be really helpful for those that are confused about God and want to find out who he really is without compromising to rituals. To me, having a relationship with God is what really matters, because without it religion becomes a simple routine that one is bound to get tired of eventually. I don't want to turn this blog into a religious discussion, but the show really impacted me in a way that I cannot simply describe.

It is frustrating that it got canceled and I hope to find another show that comes close enough to this one... I see shows like Jerry Springer, or I love New York... and I wonder how millions of people can sit and watch endless hours of such crap. Let's have a moment of silence for the millions of brain cells that we will continue to kill over the years.

♥ MFM

Inglourious Basterds.

2009-08-25T20:07:00.000-07:00

Don't expect a historically accurate movie here, rather think of it as an alternate ending to WWII. Brilliant story, and decent acting. I especially loved Brad Pitt's silliness and his too exaggerated Tennessee accent. It was clearly made for pure entertainment, and it is by far my favorite movie of the summer. I highly recommend it.

♥ MFM

"Laugh it off"

2009-08-24T11:09:00.000-07:00

So today I got up at 8 am (too early for summer) after I finally decided that it was time to get my driving permit... it turns out that all the driving test offices across Ontario are closed due to labor disruption, also known as a freaking STRIKE!
Oh well, I guess I can manage to wait a little longer.

LMAO, ohhh gotta love it.
♥ MFM.

"You oughtta see me now"

2009-08-23T15:30:00.000-07:00

Graduation marked a new beginning.
"I did it, YESSSS, now what?!!?"

June 25th, 2009 was an exciting day, but yet extremely nerve-wracking. The thought of tripping or making the wrong move made me forget that Graduation was officially the end of everything I had ever worked for. Now that I look back, I remember when days in school seem to be like weeks, hours doing homework felt like months and the school year felt like an entire lifetime. Birthdays took forever to come, and Christmas lasted more than a few weeks. Cartoons were more important than sleep and presentations were my worst nightmare. I am still freaked out a little about presentations, but the hours, days and years have definitely gone by faster. Senior year was definitely a blur, and I will be turning 19 in less than a month. I appreciate my sleep more than I used to. And you will never find me awake at 6 am on a Saturday waiting for the 'Teletubbies' to come on (oh I know, horrible horrible thought). I have definitely learned that time does not slow down as we grow older, and how in less than 5 years our priorities can change so drastically. In a way I am scared of what is to come, but then again it is normal to fear of the unknown. I will be taking a year off before college, and I hope I can get as much out of it as I have planned. Here's to a new adventure.

♥ MFM

"i'll lean on you, and you lean on me, and we'll be okay"

2009-08-20T19:41:00.000-07:00

I Love life.